"What may I serve you Madame ? Would you like the plain Scotch on the rocks, or Banfi Col di Sasso, or Elsa Bianchi Malbec, Luzon` Verde, or if you're in the mood for something a little sensuous, we boast of the highly exquisite Dom. Romane Conti 1997."
"An instant coffee please."
Two years after I committed that mortifying faux pas, I still can't forget the waiter's expression. Let me rewind to half an hour before this legendary scenario took place. 9:00 pm. Saturday night. South Bombay. The French Conrad, one of the most exclusive seven star hotels in the city, and I was privileged enough to dine there that evening.Of the seven billion people inhabiting this planet, I had maddeningly chosen to come here with Alok Chatterjee, one of the most irritating aspects of my life. Alok, a friend of five years, was a great connoisseur of fine dining. When he had expressed his desire to dine here and had requested me to accompany him, I had immediately agreed, partly because I was hungry at the time he had made the offer, and majorly because, only a fool would refuse to dine at the Conrad, especially when somebody else was paying the bill. However, I was beginning to regret this impulsive decision with every passing second. Alok was a completely pompous man, who at 24, had made it big overnight with a seedy company which dealt in, so he said, legal trading of automobile spare parts. He resembled a toad in many ways. He had a fat pudgy face and black beady eyes which were never still. Within the five minutes that we had spent settling down, we had talked- or rather he had talked- about his life, his car, his money, his love dilemmas, and I could see a whole sea of remembrances rushing in for the rest of the evening. Alok never failed to give me an inferiority complex. Here was I, who had spent ever so many years slogging it out in engineering, only to land up with an internship in a dingy building in one tiny corner of Colaba, and now, after all those years of hard work, this man sitting across the table, with a twelfth pass degree, was the one who was showing off a Rado on his wrist, was the one who could carelessly reserve a table anytime at the Conrad, and who had the audacity and capacity to order items on the menu card which he could not even pronounce. At the end of the day, though, he was the host, and I was the guest, so I decided to be gracious enough to bear up with him and enjoy my rare visit here.
To give you an idea of how plush this place was, they did not bother to enquire whether you preferred plain or mineral water- they directly placed sparkling water before you. It was when I was enjoying a sip of this sparkling water that Alok suddenly caught my hand, looked into my eyes and said imploringly "Nivvi, I do hope you remember my telling you that two other people are going to be joining us for the dinner tonight?"
I nearly choked on my drink. This was so typically Alok!!! Whenever he wished to reveal something that he was practically positive I would not be okay with, he started with his standard opening line, "Do you remember my telling you......" and since such an incident had never occurred, I obviously never had anything to remember.
Preparing myself for the worst, I resignedly placed my glass on the table and said, "No. I don't recall."
Relieved that I was taking this much better than he had expected, Alok dropped all pretense and said chirpily, "Okay, then let me brief you up. A friend and the friend's friend are coming. In fact...." he continued making a show of checking his Rado which made me want to fling something at him, "they should be here any moment now." He then flashed a toothy grin at me and said "This is going to be an amazing evening."
I sunk lower into my seat and stared at the empty glass. Five minutes down the line, I could actually picture three toads before me. I was contemplating feverishly on my situation when Alok suddenly said "Here they are! Right on time!" I decided to take the trouble to look around and take a glimpse at the company I was going to be honoured with for the next hour and a half, and I realised I just couldn't have been more wrong in my suspicions.
A young man and a young lady were approaching our table. As far as the lady was concerned, she looked as if she had jumped straight out of Vogue's cover page. She was approximately 5''10, which meant that she was taller than Alok, she was taller than me, and perhaps two inches shorter than the man accompanying her. She flaunted a figure which was making every man in the room forget his date, and as for Alok, he had long forgotten that I even existed. She had straight black hair which she had chosen to leave open and a sleek model of Gucci glares were perched on her trimmed fringe. She had worn a beige dress topped with a sky blue lacy scarf and her perfectly manicured fingers were playing with the I-Phone 5. She had applied generous doses of mascara and cherry gloss, but somehow it all suited her. Thus, after my thorough investigation, I had to sadly conclude that she was beautiful.
I now focused my attention on the man. I could think of only one word to describe him-Hunk. He had a sandy complexion with dark chocolate brown hair. He sported a moderately admirable physique and had worn a casual GAP sweatshirt and baggy Levi's. His hands were perpetually in his jeans pockets, and his body language suggested that he was extremely familiar with the place. As they drew nearer I realised he must have practically bathed in cologne, and his attitude was typical of those rich snobs who simply hopped out of bed and loitered in here for a weekly Sunday brunch. His facial expression was simply an advanced version of mine- a completely bored, disinterested look. Clearly, he too had been forced into this. Oddly enough, though they both complimented each other so beautifully in their looks, they did not appear a couple to me.
I decided to straighten up a little to look suitably presentable. When they came, Alok immediately rose and enclosed the lady in a huge bear hug. A quick introduction took place by Alok. "This is Nivvi, a very close friend of mine, and Nivvi, meet Sandhya, she..." but before he could jabber any further, the woman cut him short, " It's Sandy." she said and inclining her head towards the man, continued, "Aryan- a close acquaintance"
Aryan didn't bother to acknowledge the fact that he had just been introduced and Sandy, after sparing me a withering glance, decided there was no competition for her this evening, and turned back towards Alok.
Astonishingly, though Sandy had made such a dramatic entry with this handsome man, she seemed completely smitten by Alok!! Who himself was mesmerized, which at least, was understandable. Disgusted with this situation, I decided to ignore the two of them and resolved to focus my attention on the hunk. He, on his part seemed to have decided to ignore all the three of us and was focusing his attention on the menu card. It was then that the most embarrassing incident of my life occurred.
The waiter came to take our orders for aperitifs, and since he was stationed right beside me, he began with me.
"What may I serve you Madame ? Would you like the plain Scotch on the rocks, or Banfi Col di Sasso, or Elsa Bianchi Malbec, Luzon` Verde, or if you're in the mood for something a little sensuous, we boast of the highly exquisite Dom. Romane Conti 1997."
Unthinkingly I replied, " An instant coffee please."
Hardly two seconds had passed and I realised I had made a huge gaffe. I could see the waiter almost restraining his hands to prevent them from throwing me out of the hotel, Sandy was staring at me with an expression which confirmed the fact that she had mentally added me on her list of "Do I know you?" people, Alok had chosen to ignore what had just passed with a dignified silence and was staring a little too intently at the menu, and as for Aryan, well, for the first time in the entire evening, he smiled.
My three companions ordered the Romane Conti without second thoughts, while I dealt with the sheer embarrassment which was beginning to invade me. Slowly the situation returned to normal.The only good thing about this incident was that Aryan finally seemed to have noticed that I was present at the table, and casually leaning back in his chair, he addressed me thus;
"Nivvi, right?"
I was in a foul mood so I replied coldly,"It's Nivedita."
"but Alok called you Nivvi."
"You're not Alok."
"Thank God I'm not."
"You're being rude."
"I never knew rudeness and frankness were synonyms."
"Are you an English teacher?"
"No, I'm an engineer."
"Then stop playing with words"
"You don't believe in answering nicely, do you?"
"You don't intend on stopping your interrogation, do you?"
"Until the food comes- no."
"Then I can hardly wait."
"For what.....your "instant coffee" ?"
He had touched a raw nerve there. Fuming, I ignored him. Sensing that I was slightly hurt, he said, " Look- we are four really different people who, due to pressurizing circumstances, have to bear with each other for at least an hour. Since our respective acquaintances are so obviously engrossed in each other, I thought we could continue this question-question session with both of us refusing to give an answer." He was smiling as he said this, and I had to admit he had a very infectious one, as I couldn't help smiling back.
He began, " So, how do you know people like Alok?"
"The same way you know people like Sandy" I replied tartly and we both burst out laughing, while Alok and Sandy looked on a little suspiciously.
Before long, we were talking animatedly, and the evening finally seemed to be interesting. Aryan was a really hilarious person to talk to. I was right in my assessment, he was a regular guest in this hotel, which he told me when he helped me choose the dishes. He also came here for Sunday brunches,though they were funded for by the firm in which he worked. Despite his good looks, and witty sense of humour, he was not my type and I'm sure he thought the same way about me.....but then, women are always interested in men who are not their types, and so I saw no harm in indulging in a little bit of flirtation. In this calm and relaxed mood, I even exerted myself to scrutinize Alok and Sandy and after five minutes of pondering, I was enlightened regarding Sandy's eccentric choice. I realised that Sandy, unlike me, was not seeing Mr. Toad sitting before her, but her future checkbook, who was waiting to embrace her, and so she was willingly obliging.
As we ordered the food, while conversing with Aryan, I was shocked to know we both were working in the same building, and suddenly, my workplace seemed highly appealing.
Overall, the evening was now sauntering on pretty well. The food was simply amazing, my mood was good, Aryan had indirectly hinted that we should embark on such visits more frequently, I had indirectly agreed, Alok was completely bewitched with Sandy, and Sandy- well, every time Alok's fat wallet peeped out of his coat pocket, I could practically see Sandy undergoing a mini-orgasm. So all of us were blissfully contented. I knew that, irrespective of the fact whether I was ever likely to meet any of these people again, I would always remember and cherish this evening.
Before long, the plates had been cleared. I realised the dinner had almost come to an end, and I was regretting it. I really hoped I could meet Aryan again, for the sole reason that I knew we could get along well. Alok had also been really tolerable today, and frankly, for all my pretenses, I had enjoyed myself. The waiter again turned up for our orders for a nightcap, and irritatingly, he again began with me. Going red with embarrassment, I meekly ordered the Dom. Romane Conti. I didn't drink, but decided to simply place the glass in front of me. Alok chose the same, while Sandy opted for Scotch. When it was Aryan's turn, without batting an eyelid, he replied steadily, "An instant coffee please."
Startled, I looked at him. He smiled at me and winked boyishly. I winked right back and grinning widely, said, "Make that two"
Well, well, well, I could see a lot of coffee trips in my future.
In life, all of us come across people who are very different from us. We fall in love with perhaps only one of them, we like but a few of them, we are indifferent to many, we can't get along with most of them, and we can't understand all of them. Try not to find these differences,try not to point them out, and most crucially, don't bother to erase them. Simply enjoy them....enjoy the difference....enjoy being unique....enjoy being yourself and once you start doing so, trust me, even an instant coffee can be as intoxicating as Dom. Romane Conti 1997.
Astonishingly, though Sandy had made such a dramatic entry with this handsome man, she seemed completely smitten by Alok!! Who himself was mesmerized, which at least, was understandable. Disgusted with this situation, I decided to ignore the two of them and resolved to focus my attention on the hunk. He, on his part seemed to have decided to ignore all the three of us and was focusing his attention on the menu card. It was then that the most embarrassing incident of my life occurred.
The waiter came to take our orders for aperitifs, and since he was stationed right beside me, he began with me.
"What may I serve you Madame ? Would you like the plain Scotch on the rocks, or Banfi Col di Sasso, or Elsa Bianchi Malbec, Luzon` Verde, or if you're in the mood for something a little sensuous, we boast of the highly exquisite Dom. Romane Conti 1997."
Unthinkingly I replied, " An instant coffee please."
Hardly two seconds had passed and I realised I had made a huge gaffe. I could see the waiter almost restraining his hands to prevent them from throwing me out of the hotel, Sandy was staring at me with an expression which confirmed the fact that she had mentally added me on her list of "Do I know you?" people, Alok had chosen to ignore what had just passed with a dignified silence and was staring a little too intently at the menu, and as for Aryan, well, for the first time in the entire evening, he smiled.
My three companions ordered the Romane Conti without second thoughts, while I dealt with the sheer embarrassment which was beginning to invade me. Slowly the situation returned to normal.The only good thing about this incident was that Aryan finally seemed to have noticed that I was present at the table, and casually leaning back in his chair, he addressed me thus;
"Nivvi, right?"
I was in a foul mood so I replied coldly,"It's Nivedita."
"but Alok called you Nivvi."
"You're not Alok."
"Thank God I'm not."
"You're being rude."
"I never knew rudeness and frankness were synonyms."
"Are you an English teacher?"
"No, I'm an engineer."
"Then stop playing with words"
"You don't believe in answering nicely, do you?"
"You don't intend on stopping your interrogation, do you?"
"Until the food comes- no."
"Then I can hardly wait."
"For what.....your "instant coffee" ?"
He had touched a raw nerve there. Fuming, I ignored him. Sensing that I was slightly hurt, he said, " Look- we are four really different people who, due to pressurizing circumstances, have to bear with each other for at least an hour. Since our respective acquaintances are so obviously engrossed in each other, I thought we could continue this question-question session with both of us refusing to give an answer." He was smiling as he said this, and I had to admit he had a very infectious one, as I couldn't help smiling back.
He began, " So, how do you know people like Alok?"
"The same way you know people like Sandy" I replied tartly and we both burst out laughing, while Alok and Sandy looked on a little suspiciously.
Before long, we were talking animatedly, and the evening finally seemed to be interesting. Aryan was a really hilarious person to talk to. I was right in my assessment, he was a regular guest in this hotel, which he told me when he helped me choose the dishes. He also came here for Sunday brunches,though they were funded for by the firm in which he worked. Despite his good looks, and witty sense of humour, he was not my type and I'm sure he thought the same way about me.....but then, women are always interested in men who are not their types, and so I saw no harm in indulging in a little bit of flirtation. In this calm and relaxed mood, I even exerted myself to scrutinize Alok and Sandy and after five minutes of pondering, I was enlightened regarding Sandy's eccentric choice. I realised that Sandy, unlike me, was not seeing Mr. Toad sitting before her, but her future checkbook, who was waiting to embrace her, and so she was willingly obliging.
As we ordered the food, while conversing with Aryan, I was shocked to know we both were working in the same building, and suddenly, my workplace seemed highly appealing.
Overall, the evening was now sauntering on pretty well. The food was simply amazing, my mood was good, Aryan had indirectly hinted that we should embark on such visits more frequently, I had indirectly agreed, Alok was completely bewitched with Sandy, and Sandy- well, every time Alok's fat wallet peeped out of his coat pocket, I could practically see Sandy undergoing a mini-orgasm. So all of us were blissfully contented. I knew that, irrespective of the fact whether I was ever likely to meet any of these people again, I would always remember and cherish this evening.
Before long, the plates had been cleared. I realised the dinner had almost come to an end, and I was regretting it. I really hoped I could meet Aryan again, for the sole reason that I knew we could get along well. Alok had also been really tolerable today, and frankly, for all my pretenses, I had enjoyed myself. The waiter again turned up for our orders for a nightcap, and irritatingly, he again began with me. Going red with embarrassment, I meekly ordered the Dom. Romane Conti. I didn't drink, but decided to simply place the glass in front of me. Alok chose the same, while Sandy opted for Scotch. When it was Aryan's turn, without batting an eyelid, he replied steadily, "An instant coffee please."
Startled, I looked at him. He smiled at me and winked boyishly. I winked right back and grinning widely, said, "Make that two"
Well, well, well, I could see a lot of coffee trips in my future.
In life, all of us come across people who are very different from us. We fall in love with perhaps only one of them, we like but a few of them, we are indifferent to many, we can't get along with most of them, and we can't understand all of them. Try not to find these differences,try not to point them out, and most crucially, don't bother to erase them. Simply enjoy them....enjoy the difference....enjoy being unique....enjoy being yourself and once you start doing so, trust me, even an instant coffee can be as intoxicating as Dom. Romane Conti 1997.
