Words

               

Words are so immortal, you can't know what’s in store

One word from someone’s all it takes to fall in love once more

Radhika Mehrotra heaved a sigh of relief as she gazed at the woman sitting  on the other side of the mirror. It was blissful to finally have some time with herself. She was getting married in the next one hour and just about everybody in her humongous family had felt compelled to come and individually dole out their ardent blessings along with generous doses of unwanted family planning ‘gyaan’. She feverishly played with her earrings as she tried to calm herself down.

 Wedding in the next one hour meant that she was now officially entitled to freak out with the tension, she could indulge herself with some melodramatic emotional speeches, create a complete nuisance of herself, stay glued to her mirror, demand that just about everybody be at her beck and call, drool over her dress, crib about the flowers, fret over the jewellery, scream for the make up and generally enjoy dishing out nothing short of gigantic bridal tantrums. But surprisingly she wasn't feeling like doing any of this— in fact, she wasn't really sure what she was feeling right now.

As she gazed at the mirror, in that one moment she saw the last three years of her life flash by. It had been a traumatizing three years since her first husband had died. Back then, at 25 it had seemed as if her whole world had come crashing down. People leave but memories  their memories continue to live and  these memories seemed to be the only companion since three long years.

 It was perhaps a year back that she had met someone. Friends had introduced him to her  as a handsome overqualified bachelor and now, a year later, she, was introducing him to her friends as her fiancé.

It was difficult— extremely difficult to describe her fiancé. And even more so to describe what she felt for him. Though he would never admit it, she knew it had been a severe case of love at first sight for him. But with her, though she definitely liked him, she wasn’t even sure if she was in love and somewhere, she thought he knew that. As she fidgeted with her bangles, she recollected so many things, she recalled her fiancé’s face when she had accepted his proposal, recalled how happy her family had been with her decision, recalled the words he had said to convey what she meant to him and now each and every one of those words was weighing her down. Hardly any time left for her wedding and she wasn't sure if she was ready for marriage. She just couldn't bear to break her fiance's heart…..he was too nice to deserve that.

So  preoccupied was she with her thoughts that she didn't even realise that she had started silently crying. As she frantically tried to wipe the treacherous tears which attempted to spoil her make up, her train of thoughts was interrupted by a soft beeping of her phone.

She feverishly grabbed her phone and stared blankly at the name shining softly on top of her Whatsapp list. The tears just wouldn't stop falling and now she didn't even try to curb them.

Raghav

Are you ready?

Radhika (after a pause, shakily)

Yea

Raghav

No you’re not.

Radhika (Now speedily)

Of course I am. In fact I was just seeing myself in the mirror.

Raghav

I don’t think you’re going to be ready till you have seen my wedding gift. Open your dressing table drawer.

Radhika (smiling ruefully)

Is it so small it fit into a drawer? ;) Just joking

Raghav

I have nothing bigger than my heart and too bad, I’ve already given it away :p

Smiling slightly now, she kept her phone aside and slowly opened the drawer. It took her some time to realise that the only additional object inside was the thinnest envelope she had ever seen, neatly stacked at the right corner. She carefully removed it and sceptically eyed it. It ridiculously reminded her of a telephone bill and she stupidly wondered if this was Raghav's idea of romantically informing her how much they had chatted online. After fingering it for a little while, she decided to give way to her curiosity and opened it. There was a most beautiful off-white paper inside completely crammed with Raghav's familiar messy scrawl. For the first time that entire day she felt like laughing as she opened her first love letter.

To the woman I'm waiting to call my wife,

Just to inform you— I've NEVER written a love letter before, but then, I have never really been in love before Radhika. Though I will never admit, you know I've loved you ever since I saw you and though you will never admit, I know it might not be the same for you.

30 minutes before our wedding, there’s something I want to ask you and before you answer me, just remember that I will always love you no matter what your answer is.

Is it really possible to rekindle a fire?

To recreate a spark, to nurse a new desire?

Is it really true that the smile you wore last season

Can be worn yet again but now for another reason?

Can someone make you laugh every moment, every mile

At a time when you had felt that you could not even smile?

Can someone slowly become, such an important part

Of your life when, till yesterday, someone else ruled your heart?

Does someone spoil you so much that he treats you like a queen?

Do someone’s words mean so much that you blush like a silly teen?

Do you reread those messages I keep sending all while?

Do your fingers race the keyboard, do you reply with a smile?

The blush that seems to lately adorn your pretty cheek

Is it Lakme's secret, or my compliment last week?

By nature I'm so calm, it’s something I admire

But you spare one smile for someone else, my heart is set afire

Has no one ever told you, how pretty you look in green?

My heartbeat runs a marathon, I feel like a silly teen.

Is it truly possible for me to be a part

Not just of your surname but also of your heart?

Today in our wedding you will gently say “I do”

Tomorrow, day after, ever, will you say I Love You?

Is it really possible that your heart just wants to soar?

Does it finally believe that it can fall in love once more?

Love can be so gentle love can be so wild

Love makes you a woman, love makes you a child

Love is so romantic, love lifts me to the skies

I fall in love a million times

When you look into my eyes.

Radhika……if I am the reason you can agree with even one of these lines…….marry me and I will never let you regret it. I'm waiting for your reply Ms. Mehrotra

Yours always

Raghav

She didn't know how many times she read that letter at that moment. She only knew she read it till she no longer needed to as the words remained etched in her mind. Before her tears could make a royal mess of the most precious paper in her life, she hastily placed it back on the dressing table and grabbed  her phone. Smiling widely at the screen she replied back

There is no way you can escape the marriage now Mr. Raghav Khanna. Be prepared to spoil me for the rest of your life  :*

P.S. Be on time

Special P.S. Now that I know what a good poet you are, I expect this gift every anniversary ;)

Smiling to herself, she placed the phone back and frantically gazed at the clock. Still five minutes before she needed to leave for the venue. That could only mean that she was still officially entitled to freak out with the tension, she could still indulge herself with some melodramatic emotional speeches, create a complete nuisance of herself upto the wedding, stay glued to her mirror, demand that just about everybody be at her beck and call, drool over her dress, crib about the flowers, fret over the jewellery, scream for the make up and generally enjoy dishing out nothing short of gigantic bridal tantrum and there was no way she was going to be wasting any of these privileges now. After all, she was a bride who just couldn't wait to get married!!!

A little piece of paper, written specially to be read

The world just sees few ardent words, she sees his heart instead.

                                                                                        

Was I Ever Alone?

Where was the beginning and where was the end?

No sign of an enemy, no sign of a friend.

My eyes saw the view till earth and sky blended

A road stood waiting, a path that never ended.

The sun was ablaze and the silence was still

My heart nursed a fear that my mind wished to kill.

A lone steady traveller, my life was a ride

Road led to road, and stride led to stride.

But the great sea of sand that mocked me with glee

The Great African Sahara that urged me to flee.

T’was a journey I dreaded in the depths of my heart

I saw a morbid end even before I could start.

I prayed to the skies, I looked at the ground

I walked with my shadow, which by midday had drowned.

My gait was so slow, my thoughts were so fast

My footsteps imprinted a journey so vast.

The horizon was endless, the terrain unknown

My fears were so many, and I was alone.

Four days had just passed, each day seemed a year

I thought I had come far, but the end didn’t seem near.

The weather so scathing, my actions so mild

No forest, no animals, but this was the wild.

The sandstorms did roar and the howling winds moan

Not a creature in sight, and I was alone.

A fortnight flew by, as I crawled along

My morale so weak, my fears so strong.

No companion to talk to, no words to express

I felt like a pawn in a great game of chess.

A feast was awaited, of my flesh and bone

The vultures were hovering, and I was alone.

The vast golden desert, an ocean of sand

No sign of the living on this arid land.

On the twentieth day, when my throat was so dry

I saw an oasis, a sight for a sore eye.

I walked to the spot, it vanished from zone

The mirages were countless and I was alone.

On the thirtieth day, a month had gone by

Perceptions had changed, to live was to die.

My eyes were so tired, my mind was so dead

I didn’t see immediately where my footsteps had led.

My homeland stood waiting, the sight made me moan

The end of my journey that I had walked alone.

‘Tis twelve long years since that arduous ordeal

Time is a miracle, can kill and can heal.

Yet oft, when I’m idle and relive the past

A small lurking doubt is persistently cast.

A doubt that awoke me night after night

It urged me to see things in a different new light.

In a desert where no creature, no life was alive

How was it possible that I did survive?

When death just kept pouncing, how did I escape?

With each lucky chance, my journey took shape.

A divine power had come to my aid

Someone had blessed me when I had not even prayed.

Was no one with me, had I really walked alone?

A fool would say yes, but my mind had long known

That every moment when my heart had felt scared

When my hopes were shattered, when my fears were flared,

Someone stood standing behind me all while

And gently guided me mile after mile.

The more I think, the more I see

The truth that had so far deluded me.

Someone had silently walked with me there

Someone had helped me when help seemed so rare.

So obvious in hindsight, how could I have not known

That God had walked with me, I WAS NEVER ALONE.

Yin Yang

The skies were calm, the waters were still

The sun was ablaze, and the silence was shrill;

 A boatman stood waiting at the edge of the shore

As the Zen Tao sisters meandered to the fore.

“Where to, my dear ladies?” enquired the man

“The Great Land of Shanghai” said the maiden called Yang

The boatman consented, the Tao sisters bowed

And lounged in the ferry the three made a crowd

“How long is the ride?” enquired sweet Yin                                    

“Quite long when alone, quite short with your kin”

“How large is the city?” enquired her twin

“A speck from afar, a giant within”

                                                                                                         

“Oh how many questions, how many a doubt!!”

“Let’s picture what Shanghai is really about”

“Oh Yin, they have buildings that talk to the skies”

“Sweet Yan, they have shanties that cater to flies”

“Dear Yin, there are cars so swanky and grand

That adorn those roads in that beautiful land”

“Oh Yan those roads are terribly plain

How big is the car, how small is the lane.”

 

“The weather is pleasant, the people are nice”

“The people are mean, the weather plays dice”

“Dear Yin, I’ve heard that the rich are so rich

Their dresses flash diamonds in every little stitch”

“Oh Yan the rich are few and far between

With poverty flooding the wealth has no sheen.”

“The port is so famous, the ships are so vast”

“Infamous my dear, let your hopes not be cast”

“They boast of hotels that look like a dream”

“When dreams turn nightmares, hope you don’t scream!!”

“Oh Yin, the ladies are pretty and fair!!”                

“Prettier than me?? They can’t even dare!!”

“My dear sweet ladies, pray spare a swift glance                          

Catch a glimpse of your guesses, and bask in a trance          

For before you the golden shore that you see

Is Shanghai that graces the Great Yangtze.”

“Oh Yin I expected a fairly pretty land

But a paradise awaits me, so sleek and so grand”

“Oh Yang I expected a frigid town

              

So right was my judgement, my hopes are too down”

The boat brushed the sands with a gentle low tide

The ladies alighted and paid for the ride

The boatman stood watching as the Tao sisters trudged  

To a land they didn’t know but had already judged

The boatman laughed and said to the skies

This is life at its best, the lows and the highs

Predictions are true, they always will be

 Since we see everything as we wish them to be

Our opinions are merely our thoughts in disguise

For beauty lies in the beholders eyes

Life is a book, the words are the same

It’s the way it is read that changes the game

It’s not what’s without but what is within

That makes some of us Yang and some of us Yin

A journey of a thousand miles, the Great Lao Tzu sang

Life is an outlook Life is Yin-Yang.