Make A Wish

2025

11:59 p.m. on the face dial of my wrist watch. Sixty seconds. My phone screen lit up, signalling the flood of wishes bombarding WhatsApp post midnight.

Racing against time, ransacking the paraphernalia, ignoring the crooning landline, my eyes scanned the shelves, my fingers finally claiming the faded, yellowing grocery bill.

The clock struck twelve. I smiled into the wretched piece of paper.

Don’t Forget:

Apples (below 120)

1 kg Dal (They’re yellow!)

*Top priority

Don’t forget I love you. Happy birthday!

I read my first birthday wish at midnight.

Just the way I had been reading it since 2016.

Some Words Are Best Unsaid

Half past twelve, a Friday night, the time just seems too slow

Watching the re-run of a show for the hundredth time in a row.

A sudden beep just to my right interrupts my favourite scene

That too-familiar white light flashes at the top of my phone screen

A name I didn’t need to guess tops my Whatsapp list
I try my best to stop it but an unwilling smile persists.

As I deftly type the reply strictly composed by my mind

The message that my heart had drafted remains but undefined.

It goes into those recesses that seem to flood my head

Filled to the the brim with all those million words I never said.

Being a woman of so many words, it’s such a big disgrace

The key my fingers hit the most is sadly the backspace.

I never press that like button, my mind calls it a crime

FYI, my heart has reacted at least a million times.

I post that bland emoticon in each and every case

But while doing so, I wish you saw the smile that floods my face.

I take my own sweet time before I reply to your text

But trust me, before I even start, I’m waiting for the next.

I’m stingy with my compliments, a word of praise is rare

But if fortunes could be made with words, my heart’s a zillionaire.

I say that it’s the winter that has caused my cheeks to flame

But you and I know just too well, it’s you who is to blame.

In the constant fight that rages on between the heart and mind

There have been times when the heart has sleekly pushed logic behind.

And succeeded right till the end in justifying hopes

That pull the heartstrings just the way one pulls a puppet’s ropes.

And then at that moment and time, when the mind has given in,

When all those cautious reasons have been dumped into the bin,

I start to type out all the feelings stored up in my head,

But then as usual, my heart says “Some words are best unsaid”.

Precious Time

I met a friend last Friday night at Macy’s Bistro, half past nine

A dinner date we’d just scooped out of jam-packed lives, to wine and dine.

Meeting after twenty years, a time too long to justify

Ten years of which had gone in planning, the next ten hoping they fructify.

We talked about the time gone by, the highs and lows , the jeers and cheers

In crisply tailored ten minutes, we caught up on the twenty years.

Long gone were days of street-side joints, when every penny we had to guard

Now we didn’t so much as chance a glance at the right side of the menu card.

We ordered  dishes, names of which we’d long ago laughed off as fake

But now we’d reached a stage in life when gourmet food was just prosaic.

I spoke about my farm estate, she said her mansion had graced the Forbes’

We’d definitely come a long way from the talks of walls that need paint jobs.

We both recalled the times long past, the little pleasures, the memories made

And wondered if our next date would but cost  another two decades.

Now, when fate had blessed us with a flood of wealth and deluxe clime

It just so happened that all that wealth couldn’t afford a speck of time.

We had the money, we had the dreams, but time was constantly at strife

Those trivial pleasures we once had, were just too costly now in life.

That evening as we discussed of our wealth and status at its prime

The both of us concluded that,  we’d lost a fortune, precious time.

Rule My Thoughts Tonight

As I walk down the golden sands, biding time without a care

That endless train of thoughts I have, seem more entangled than my hair.

The waves rush to my sandy feet and kiss my toes with a ticklish chill

That pile of worries I’d built somewhere just crumbles down and time stands still.

The soothing weather, the whipping breeze, the air that night gives me the clout

I have the license just tonight, to choose what I want to think about.

In this moment of peaceful bliss, when I’m the ruler of my insight

You choose to play just so unfair and rule my thoughts again tonight.

Countless thoughts that feature you, just wake up from a gentle slumber

The shells that lie strewn on that shore, in comparison, seem less in number.

The rhythmic waves that rush to me seem to hum that cherished tune

To which we’d danced all night one time, that night had ended far too soon.

The beach lamps flood the sea with golden lights as far as my eyes scan

Just the way one smile from you lights up my eyes like nothing can.

The pending bills, the laundry wash, that two page letter I’ve still to write

You sleekly brush that list aside and rule my thoughts again tonight.

I see the trail of footsteps made as I walk down that moonlit beach

My eyes gaze at those specks of ships, far away and out of reach.

Thinking of the irony, I smile in rue and think of thee

You and I are on the same old beach, I’m at the shore, you’re at the sea.

The skyline has a myriad hues, like paint splashed on a canvas sheet

The frothy waves sound loud and clear, but not quite loud as my heartbeat.

Tonight the evening asks of me a wish I wish with all my might

Without a doubt my heart just dreams that I too rule your thoughts tonight.

Midnight Gapshap

“Did you enjoy the party?"

“I loved it!”

“I knew you would. Your fretting over this was completely unwarranted.”

“Now, when did I fret!”

“You know you did. Were you afraid they might not like you?”

“Darling, I was afraid I might not like them.”

“This is why I love you.”

I laughed as the handsome man sitting behind the wheel smiled resignedly. Strapping the seat belt across, I admitted, “Well, I was a tad nervous about feeling left out. I mean, this was your college group and I didn’t know anybody initially.”

“But now you do.”

“Yes, and I really like them.”

 Arjun smiled as he replied, “I’m really glad about that. These people are very close to me and what you think of them matters to me more than you can imagine, Radhika.”

Although I tried not to preen in that compliment, I had to admit it had touched me. Arjun and I had been married for about six months and it been an arranged alliance. We had naturally grown much closer to each other after marriage, but there was still so much to learn, notice and like and sometimes, I felt that it would take a lifetime to know Arjun. The fact that he respected my opinion so much meant a lot to me.

“I was seeing everyone after so many years, but it felt the same, you know.”

“I can understand”, I said, squeezing his hand.

“Remembering the good old days”, he remarked nostalgically.

Now that comment reminded me of the question that had been rankling in my mind since the party, courtesy all the famous college ke kisse which Arjun’s friends had generously filled me in with.

After a highly calculated casual pause, I enquired nonchalantly, “So—who is Samaa?”

Arjun frowned as he replied, “Samaa? Mmm…Samaa—I can’t seem to remember sweetheart, though the name does sound familiar.”

I tried again, “Samaa Raghavan?”

This little additional input erased that frown almost instantaneously from Arjun’s forehead. Instead, a huge smile broke across his face as he replied laughingly, “Oh! Sam!  I had totally forgotten that’s not her name.”

Sam.

I tried to digest this anglicised pet name assignment as I remarked casually, “So, you remember Samaa—I mean, Sam?”

With a positively dreamy look in his eyes, my dear husband replied, “To remember someone you’ve got to forget them first—and who can forget Sam!”

Wow, this was even more than I was prepared for.

“Was she a close friend?”

Arjun grinned at me cheekily, “Not as close as I would have liked her to be, but just to cut a long story short, Sam was my one and only college crush which lasted the entire four years; and you never forget that, do you?"

Who said I wanted the long story cut short?

“How—How interesting! So—I didn’t get to meet her at the party.”

“Oh, she didn’t come. Rohit mentioned that she’s holidaying in the States currently.”

“So you’re not in touch? I mean, I know infatuations come and go, but first love is first love.”

Arjun didn’t reply immediately, but after a pause, he said thoughtfully, “Yes, first love is first love.”

As we drove on,  Arjun suddenly looked in my direction and asked mischievously, “So Rohit told you the whole story?”

Whole story! And here was I, thinking it was only a chapter.

I laughed artificially as I commented, “No no, he just gave me a rough picture, you know.”

Arjun continued to look ahead, but after a brief pause, he spoke, and I could sense a definite dash of enjoyment in his voice, “Why do I get the feeling someone’s jealous?”

I immediately exclaimed defensively, “Now why on earth would I be jealous? I was just, well, curious.”

Arjun didn’t seem to convinced so I added, “It’s a long drive back home, so I thought we might as well chat about something fun. Midnight Gapshap, you know.”

Now that's what I call a good comeback.

Arjun laughed as he commented, “Okay, I buy that logic. But where to begin!”

I smiled tightly as I remarked, “Must have been pretty.”

“Uff! Sam was gorgeous! And still is, judging by her Instagram Profile.”

Hmm. So things were Instagram Level.

“Hazel eyes, peachy complexion, dimpled cheeks! And her hair; I have never, ever seen tresses that were so straight naturally.”

And my hair is a mass of curls that require three hours of parlour torture to attain a tamed look.

I decided that I had gained sufficient information about dear Sam’s profile. My imagination was more than helping me out with the remaining minor details. Hence, I sleekly changed the topic.

“So—what does she do now?”

“Surprisingly, she went in for modelling!”

And why am I not surprised?

“Wow. That must mean a lot of travelling.”

“Oh, Sam loves to travel! As far as I know though, she is currently based in Italy.”

And that’s why you like pasta.

I smiled sweetly as I confirmed, “Sam must have had an entourage of admirers.”

“Of course”, said Arjun grinning, and then winking at me impishly, he replied, “But I was first among equals.”

Calm Down Mode On.

I now put on one of my professional level fake smiles and enquired charmingly, “So—why didn’t things work out?”

Arjun continued to look ahead and remarked absently, “What didn’t work out?”

I grimaced inwardly for having to put this so bluntly, “I meant, why didn’t things work out between you and Sam?”

Arjun smiled disarmingly as he replied, “Same old story. It was a one sided thing.”

I smiled quietly and after a pause, asked, “And is it still there?”

Arjun grinned as he replied, “Absolutely, but not in the way you think.”

“Hey! I’m not thinking anything!”

“Darling, your imagination has given you a free tour of the whole of Italy today”, he said smirking.

I decided that my tongue and imagination both needed a break so I cordially ignored that last jab.

After a pause, Arjun spoke, “I never really expressed my feelings at that time because somewhere, I knew that she wasn’t interested back then. And as I mentioned, we were really good friends, so I didn’t want to ruin that.”

I refused to look as I remarked, “You should have kept in touch and  tried proposing after a few years.”

Arjun looked ahead and replied shortly, “There was no need for that.”

“Why?”

“Because she proposed first.”

Wow.

Now curiosity was winning the race against jealousy, so shunning all pretence, I asked, “Then what was the problem?”

Arjun grinned at me and replied, “Wrong timing was the problem, sweetheart.”

“Wrong timing?” I repeated, confused.

Arjun now looked at me and said, “Big time. Because by the time she proposed, I had already met you.”

The AC was on full blast but I could still feel my cheeks turning a flaming shade of crimson. Trying to act as casual as I could, I replied airily, “You could have refused me.”

Arjun replied candidly, “I couldn’t actually.”

“Why?”

Looking at me, he smiled quietly as he replied, “Because infatuations come and go. First love is first love.”

Mini Epilogue

As Arjun was busy unlocking the front door, I leaned against the wall and casually commented, “So—is she married?”

“Honey, you really need to give it a break.”

“That’s not the answer to my question.”

“Yes. A doctor— Siddharth, if I’m not wrong.”

“Italy—doctor—Siddharth—Oh my God, you surely don’t mean Siddharth Mehrotra!”

“That’s the name.”

“We were in the same college!”

“Do you remember him?”

A broad smile broke across my face as I replied sardonically, “To remember someone, you’ve got to forget them first, and who can forget Sid?”

A curt voice replied, “How—How interesting!”

Beyond The DNA

“Are you nervous?”

“Well, its not everyday you meet your girlfriend’s mother.”

“Just calm down. You will love her.”

“I hope the feeling will be mutual, darling”

The beautiful young lady standing across me smiled reassuringly as she slipped her arm in mine. As we walked across the lobby, I couldn’t help glancing in the mirror to see if I looked fine. As we walked, she suddenly commented conversationally, “Is that a new perfume that you’re sporting? And just for the record, I like this one better.”

I smiled and remarked casually, “Its dad’s cologne. In fact, today practically everyone I have been meeting have been telling me I am a spitting image of him.”

She laughed as she replied, “ I totally take after my mother.”

A hint of confusion flashed across my face but I quickly camouflaged it as I smiled back in reply. I looked at her silently as we walked on and my thoughts couldn’t help but flash back to the Bombay Times edition I had read that morning.

One cursory glance at the woman on the front page had been enough to tell me that Avantika did indeed bear a shocking resemblance to her biological mother, who happened to be quite a celebrity in the media industry. She had the same hazel eyes, wheatish complexion, the familiar dimple on the left cheek and even her smile adorned her jawline in the same fashion . It had been as though I were seeing Avanitika about twenty-five years from now. Looking at that picture this morning, I couldn’t help wondering at the irony of the fact that two women who looked so similar, shared the same DNA lineage, could be strangers to each other.

I had known Avantika for about six years now. Gradually, over time when we had started dating, I had learned that she had been completely brought up by her father’s second wife and I did know for a fact that she had hardly met her biological mother for the past several years. However, this one casual remark made by her just now had set me thinking: Whom were we meeting?

We finally reached the front door and I consciously buttoned my coat, a hopeless habit that always seemed to come to the fore when I was nervous. Before she rung the bell, Avantika winked at me and mouthed, “All the best” and I smiled in reply.

I could hear soft footsteps approaching on the other side of the door and I had only a moment to squeeze my girlfriend’s hand before the door opened and I put on my best “First Impression” smile, the one that only Avantika had been privileged to receive till now.

The woman who smiled at me now was certainly not the Bombay Times one. As I shook her hand, Avantika made the official introduction and I was ushered by both the women into the tastefully designed living room. Even though I had met her hardly a moment ago, the air with which she spoke was so warm that I suddenly felt very comfortable, almost familiar.

While driving on our way here, I had told Avantika to strategically sit at such a spot that I could sit next to her. However, she now deliberately made a beeline for the single-seater sofa, smiling cheekily at me as I sat alone and  directly opposite her mother.

Now that we were settled and as her mother cordially got me some refreshments, I casually registered her and I had to conclude that it must have been purely affection on Avantika’s part when she mentioned that she took after her mother, because, though they both were equally beautiful, they hardly looked the same.

As I drank the cranberry tea, her mother leaned back comfortably and said laughingly, “So I finally to get to meet the boy who has been occupying so much of my daughter’s mind-share.”

I laughed as I remarked, “Thank God for that. It took me almost a year to earn that space.”

Her mother grinned and replied, “Don’t worry. No matter what Avani says, you’ve been featuring in our dinner conversations for quite some time now”

“Mom!” said Avantika, as I laughed heartily at this candid spill.

As Mrs. Mehta leaned forward to take my empty glass, I noticed that she handled the cup in the same precarious fashion that Avantika did. She commented, “Avantika told me you love donuts, can I get you one? I made some this afternoon.”

“Yes please”, I replied smiling. As she stood up, Avantika remarked casually, “Mom, I think I kept them back in the fridge. Wait, let me just check on that.”

As I casually played with the coaster kept on the teapoy, both the women started walking towards the kitchen and then it suddenly struck me. They both walked in the same elegant fashion, the messy yet chic bun sported by both of them was done up in the same way. The way her mother carried off her saree was a replica of the way Avantika had worn hers on convocation. As Avantika sheepishly admitted having eaten all but two of the donuts, I couldn’t help but smile when her mother raised her hands in that same exasperated manner that I had always considered to be my girlfriend’s trademark.

As the evening passed on, there was just so much more in common that stood out so prominently. The tone, the style of speaking, the choice of words and even the enunciations were so similar. When I cracked a joke that Avantika must have heard about a million times, her mother laughed the same tinkling laugh that I was used to. Her eyes lit up the same way and for the same reasons as her daughter's did. Though the looks hardly bore similarity, the mannerisms, the little habits and in fact, the very style with which they conducted themselves overshadowed it all.

The pleasant evening wore on and the dinner date finally came to an end. As I was taking leave, Avantika’s mother caught my hand and hugging me warmly, said, “I really enjoyed having you over, Raghav. I must say I admire my daughter’s choice. Though this is the first time that we have met, I feel as if I have known you since a long time.”

I smiled. “I think I have known you ever since I met Avantika. She is so much like you in every respect”, I replied and as I said these words, I realised that I genuinely meant them. In that fleeting  moment, by the way her mother smiled, I could see that my compliment had touched her and was perhaps the best form of praise anyone could have given her.

As I walked down the corridor, smiling to myself, I heard footsteps catching up with me and I turned to see Avantika hurrying up to me.

“You forgot your coat”, she said smiling.

“Thanks”, I replied and pecking her softly on the cheek, commented, “I really liked your mother, Avantika.”

She looked at me for a while and finally, smiling quietly replied, “In answer to the question you didn’t ask me in the lobby, I would just want to tell you something, darling. Today evening, I hope you realised.”

“What?” I asked simply.

She smiled and folding her hands the same way that her mother did, replied, “The mom factor goes beyond the DNA.”