Kukkad Kamaal Da

“Monttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!”

This was the auspicious starting line of every kitty party hosted by Bobby Chopra at her sprawling gaudy farmhouse for her “kareebi” friends.

Kulpreet Kaur looked appreciatively at Jaspreet Kapoor who then smiled at Pinky Singh who signalled to Dolly Bhatia to begin. These subtle signals being transferred, Dolly turned towards Bobby and spoke,

“Bobby ji, what is all this? Just last week you threw a cocktail party and now apni kitty so jaldi? You are really pampering us.”

Bobby effused a heavy artificial sigh and lamented, “Now what to do ji, ever since Sunny puttar left for Amriika yesterday by Canadian Airlines Business Class, I have been soooooo depressed ji.”

Jaspreet shook her head, her chunky earrings wobbling maddeningly, “Same here ji…… Kukkoo puttar left last week only, Cathay Pacific First Class….how much I cried ji.”

The conspicuous silence clearly indicated that Jaspreet had scored the first goal today. Before anyone could challenge her comment, Monty came laden with a silver plate carrying five Pina Coladas dressed with a sprig of mint, a slice of lemon and a dainty umbrella adorning each glass. Monty was Bobby’s husband’s Man-Friday, whose portfolio amongst several other essentials also included organising Bobby’s parties and ensuring that her kitties became the talk of the town for at least two weeks after they were held.

“Welcome drinks for you all ji”, said Bobby, exerting herself to personally hand over all the ladies their drinks, remembering to accidently spill some on Jaspreet’s white dupatta.

“How are you Monty ji?” said Pinky, sipping her drink noisily.

“At your service always ji”, said Monty smiling humbly. He was a very calm and stoic personality and this quality served as an invaluable asset to him when Bobby suddenly decided to declare a “zabardassst” kitty party. After the first few sessions, he had started to rather enjoy these kitties. He had figured out that all the womens’ sons studied in the same university abroad and there had always been a simmering competition amongst the ladies regarding the two most important things in their lives- their sons and their social status. However, this kitty was different.

Though Bobby was loudly announcing various excuses for holding the get-together, he knew the real reason which Bobby had been bursting to divulge since quite some time, and now, the time had finally come and she was going to let the cat out of the bag in style.

Bobby placed the glass on the rosewood tea-table and leaned back, a signal for Monty to get the starters. Casually twirling her hair, she said coyly,

“Vaise……..Sunny has finally got over that 74 block waali Pam’s daughter Sweety.”

Four pairs of eyes were immediately fixed on her. Each lady was trying to sense where the conversation was heading. The gravity of the situation could be only understood by the fact that none of the ladies even realised when Monty placed sizzling paneer tikkas on skewers before them.

“And what made him get over Miss Chandigarh, Bobby ji?” asked Kulpreet curiously.

Dolly gave a catty laugh and said, “The krrect question is WHO made him get over her ji!”

Bobby smiled indulgently and said, “I am happy to announce  that very soon, I might be getting an NRI bahu .”

Many exclamations, insincere congratulations, and heavily saccharine praises followed this proclamation as Monty tried to maintain a straight face. Considerably satisfied with her audience’s reaction Bobby continued,

“Very pretty girl, though I haven’t seen her…….. Punjabi, from a good family and Sunny tells me she is an excellent dancer.”

Dolly couldn’t take this anymore and to prevent her feelings from giving way, she stuffed a hot tikki into her mouth. Bobby had clearly scored at least five points by dropping this bomb and there was no way Kulpreet was going to leave this challenge unaccepted.

“Even my Rocky has found a girl ji…..I have even seen her photo….very tall, slim fair, and university topper”, she said smiling slyly at her friends.”

Pinky commented seethingly,

 “How did university topper fall for Rocky??I heard he was borderline pass last semester.”

“Even I have been hearing a lot of things about your Goggy, Pinky ji. Isse pehle ki I tell you request him only to convey his aktvitees to you.”

“Then you must have also heard that Goggy will be proposing a varrrrry  beautiful girl in his university……and there is no chance she can refuse him.”

Now assured that her kitty had earned enough publicity, Bobby beckoned to Monty and whispered in his ear,

“Atmosphere is becoming thoda hot ji….just arrange for those Sharma waale Ras Malai with extra Malai.”

Meanwhile, Jaspreet, bored with the Rocky v/s Goggy face off, steered the conversation in another direction,

“Toh when is the shaadi Bobby ji?”

“Actually, Sunny hasn’t proposed to her yet…..he wants to do it in khaandaani style you know…..he will be gifting her a six carat Solitaire.”

“Goggy has toh already planned to gift one of our seven bungalows……..you know Palanpur waala.”

Kulpreet between mouthfuls of tikki, said,”Arre my Lucky doesn’t need to bother about these gifts ji……..aaj kal he has started building his boddy shoddy….and he was toh pehle se hi good looking….remember Miss Chandigarh had chosen him only to carry her Gucci waali bag up to her car ji.”

“Mere Sunny’s Mauritius photo toh has got 324 likes on Facebook”, said Bobby.

Dolly leaned casually towards Jaspreet and whispered,”Usme se 100 likes toh Bobby must have collected maang maang ke ji, warna woh Sunny…….”, and both the ladies shared a private joke at their host’s expense.

Monty chuckled to himself in the kitchen as he carefully arranged the crystal dessert bowls on the platter. Just as he was transferring the tray on his trolley, his mobile phone rang. A fond smile creased oh his wrinkled face as he answered it,

”Simran!!!! How are you beta?”

“Enjoying thoroughly Daddy Ji.”

“You are concentrating on studies na? Itna vadda loan leke bheja hai USA tujhe!!”

“Arre Daddy ji, I am concentrating on studies and boys are concentrating on me.”

“Kaun hai ye kaminey?”

“Aapke kitty mummies ke hotties!!.”

Monty burst out laughing at the irony of the situation. With tears of laughter flowing down his cheeks, he told the apple of his eye,

“Toh what are you choosing? The six carat Solitaire,  Palanpur Bungalow, or body builder?””

“I’m choosing a man whose heart shines brighter than the six carat Solitaire, whose 1-BHK flat is warmer than the Palanpur Bungalow, he’s more into brain building than body building. He is doing Ph.D here…..my senior….. his father works in LIC….you will love him!!! My choice is priceless.”

Chuckling, Monty said, ”Your choice is definitely expensive beta…..so many planned shaadis are going to be cancelled because of it!! But I’m happy…..I’m sure I’ll like him.”

Monty had just hung up when a shrill voice came racing into the kitchen,

“Monttttyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!”

Monty smiled to himself and sighed, “Life does go on…”

 Slowly pushing the food laden trolley, Monty proceeded into the lounge to provide dessert to the ladies before they were served their just desserts by his daughter.